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Welcome To My Secret Garden
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
In general, do people normally speak their minds? We all know that people lie many times in their lives... At least for my case i lied many many times... But the percentage of men lying is higher than women. Why? Its all in the mind. Men think that they could make things easier by lying, they think thatthey can get through it without knowing that women are the best lie-detectors...
Actually i just wanna share something from a self-help book i bought... Actaully this is quite out of point ( just wanna show the difference between men and women )
What turns us on?
Women's turn-ons
1. Romance
2. Commitment
3. Communication
4. Intimacy
5. Non-sexual touching
Men's turn-ons
1. Pornography
2. Female nudity
3. Sexual variety
4. Lingerie
5. Her availability
**The above may not be 100% true for all but at leats the majority**
Sometimes i really don't understand men... Similarly, men also don't understand women at times.. Sometimes it can get rather frustrating... Sometimes i just boil away without any guy detecting what's wrong with me.. sighZ.. i also don't know what to do about it..
The thing that makes women to be difficult to understand is because they practice indirect speaking.. they do not express themsleves directly ( like men ) instead when they ask about something, they are actually hinting about something... For example, when a women ask "do you want coffee?" this directly mean if the other party wants coffee but more often, the woman is trying to hint that she wants coffee.. Simple things can often be left out by the male counterpart.. Another example, if she asks "what time do you finish work?" Yes, she wants to know what time he finishes but she wants to know more if he could make it to meet her for dinner.. she is trying to hint for a date! She will not ask directly "are you free tonight for dinner?" because she feels that it should be the men who make the first move..
This is the same for answers like "no". "No" often mean "yes". When a man asks, "are you angry?" she will say "no" but mean "yes". Similarly, "maybe often mean "no" and "no" often mean "yes". Some men may ask, why engae in such indirect speeches which are so confusing? The answer is, it is the way women build rapport amongst themselves. This way is very effective amongst women but apparently, totally ineffective with men... Worst of all, men find it misleading!
Guys out there who has problems with their girlfriends! Maybe you should buy yourself a self-help book just to improve the relationship with your girlfriends. Stop looking at your FHMs, war-related books, car/bike magazines, sport-related books and any other books but a self-help book that suits your needs. There is definitely a need to do something, even if your relationship is very stable now. The difficult thing is not about falling in love, but to maintain the "love" the once sparked off. Stop thinking that you are communicating enough with your girlfriends, you will never know what is enough until something goes wrong ( don't wait till its too late ) Women talk alot, if they are not satisfied, they will not be happy resulting in an inability to sustain the realtionships. 99% of failed relationships are because couples don't communicate enough. You don't want to be one of them right?
Really hope what i wrote today can help more peope gain understanding about men/women's action, perspective etc. If you love someone very much, you will be most willing to do anything for him/her, right? "If you love me, you will accomodate to me, and i will do the same to you too.."
"hope that you will be my last.. i love you.."
Will you still love me tomorrow..
I need you to love me, and i need to learn to love myself too..
With Love, Jas 7:53 PM
Jasmin Kee
CHIJ-OLGC, Cedar Girls' Sec Sch, CJC, SIM
jas2104@hotmail.com
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