<![CDATA[
<body><script type="text/javascript">
function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) {
if(window.addEventListener) {
window.addEventListener('load',
function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false);
} else {
window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; });
}
}
</script>
<div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript">
gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() {
if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) {
gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({
url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/7187527?origin\x3dhttp://jasminkee.blogspot.com',
where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"),
id: "navbar-iframe"
});
}
});
</script>
]]>
Welcome To My Secret Garden
Monday, August 23, 2004
He went to Sirong's company today... Some multi-level marketing company.. i asked if i could tag along.. I knew what answer i would receive even before i asked but i still asked... the answer he gave me was "Maybe not today. Wait till i confirm if i'm joining then i bring u to the office for a tour. They will be more than happy to see me bring new faces cuz it means potential recruit.. Can?"
The thing that came straight to my mind was "Can i say 'no'?" Since he put it across so nicely already how could i say 'no' still? I didn't realise that i was angry until when i called him and he asked me if i am angry.. YES! i am angry... I gotta admit that i am very petty... I know i have no reason to be angry but yet i am still angry... One question i would like to ask.. "Why can't i go?"
By the way, Sirong is a girl... And this is the second time he goes to that office... Call me paranoid, call me unreasonable, call me a pussy cat that lacks confidence.. I AM! It just make things very suspicious once again! I can't believe when he says, "She is just a friend" C'mon no girl will believe that man... Even if it is just a friend, you made things so hazy by not bringing me there and giving me your set of excuses.. You just make me think that Sirong is the second Genevieve, and somehow, somethings i might not be aware of... I said before you can stop my imagination by just satisfying my curiosity... you did not satisfy my curiosity in this case and don't blame me for flaring up.. Don't blame me for not trusting you!
What more can i say? Always out me at home and give me loads of space and time for imagination... Say that i don't trust you and the foundation of a relationship is trust.. So? Do you think you are really worth my trust? Do you think you have done enough to gain my trust? I know! you will say yes! "Yes! I have done enough, Yes! I am worth it..." Since that is the case there is nothing that i can say now...
I am confined within my own space and time.. you may tell me everything and anything, but how am i going to trust you when i don't see it? Can you just give me some proof?Give me reason to trust you completely..? I don't know if this will ever work... i don't know if i am asking for too much.. I don't know if things can work between the both of us.. One thing i am sure is I CAN'T TRUST GUYS!
I am Cynical..
I am Skeptical..
Mybe i am just not worth your precious time...
Yes! I am always manifying small things into big problems.. Yes! everything you have done for me is not enough.. Yes! i am greedy! Yes! i am wrong! and you just gets on my nerves sometimes... Its seems as though i can't voice out my unhappiness because if i do so, i will be deemed as unreasonable... I don't want to be unreasonable.. but I will still be deemed as unreasonable.. So i am just going to blabber everything here... You can choose to hear me and do something about it.. You can choose not to too.. You can choose to move on without me again.. IT'S YOUR CHOICE! Whatever it is, you have your way of arguing with me.. Your have your way of conquering me over a conversation... What else can i do but to suffer in defeat?
So, you told me you will call me later... So, i gotta wait till late... So, i gotta allow you to finish all your 'monkey business'.. there is nothing that i can do now right? Ask for my opinions... what's the use of asking when its likely you are going to neglect them? Yes! you may listen... but you will chuck it aside when your new set of ideas are formed... So, should i wait for you to call me... and get angry again when you don't call and with your stupid excuse that I may think that you are treating as if nothing has happened ( whatever! )
Sorry! i am very heated now... I sound very heated! I sound very unreasonable! And Definitely i am going to give you another major headache.. but so? It's always happening... Is there anything done to battle this repeating show? No. You ask, what can i do to end all those repeating shows? I say, Grant me my wish... But you can't! You can't grant me my wish.. So this is going to persist.. I told you, gave you hints. I told you what i want.. i told you, when i ask, that means i want it alot, if not i will not even bother to ask you. If you didn't get this idea before, I am telling you now! I asked you if i could go, i expected an answer "yes" because i see no reason to the answer "no". I am unreasonable! But that's the way i am.. you know me for 4 years.. if you cant take it then too bad! As much as i gave you no choice, you left me with no choice either... this should be fair!
Told me that you reached her office.. OK! What do you expect me to say? You said you just wanted to inform me, Thanks! I am informed and at this heated moment i do not appreciate things like this at all.. SORRY! You merely made me more angry by reminding me that you are there! You merely made things worse... What would you think if i keep going to my guy friends' house.. You may say nothing, but i am not like you, I am not so open-hearted, i am not a nun! I am not benovelent.. I don't have as much trust as you have for me.. You might ask me, "What should i do now?" I don't know.. I've said enough about what you can do.. If you think i am beyond your means then too bad... there is nothing much i can do...
Trust= Love? I have not trust, that means i have no love....
With Love, Jas 6:40 PM
Jasmin Kee
CHIJ-OLGC, Cedar Girls' Sec Sch, CJC, SIM
jas2104@hotmail.com
entries;
myself;
shouts;
links;
my past;
Get awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.com