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Welcome To My Secret Garden
Sunday, July 25, 2004
24th July
Had Parent-teachers-meeting ( PTM ) in the morning.. dread it.. cos they always say the same things... bored! But this time was kinda out-of-the-norm... I cried during the PTM... i was super psycho-ed by them for that moment.. i guessed i cried cos they hit my weak spot... the realised some of my problems... they realised the stress i thought i never had... they realised MY SUFFERINGS...
Why my grades fell so drastically..?
1. The main reason is cos i did not study hard at all ( for those who are following my blog closely, i bet u know best )
Why did i not study eventhough i know the consequences very well..?
1. I lost hope, confidence to move on.. ( do you knoe how demoralising it is to study but still fail so badly everytime? )
2. I'm stressed.. ( i dun study dosen't mean that i am not stressed... Comparison of grades by mummy can be really stressful! )
3. Lack of motivation ( due to the above reasons )
4. Some problems in my life caused me have no mood in everything... ( to some of you this is not a valid reason at all... )
I guessed i have to really study real hard now... i guess i better not let my mummy down.. since she made life really easy for me.. She did not reprimand me.. nothing.. she just kept quiet all the way.. ( in a way, it is good for me, cos if she say anymore, i will cry more.. )
I must admit i became a cry baby after i left NCC.. haha.. but anyhow.. whatever.. haha!
Went to study with Laine, Mich & Geok.. I didn't study much... cos became kinda tired after all the crying... and furthermore, no mood lahZ.. and also almost all of my tutorials are under my desk in school... sighZ...
25th July
Piggy gave me an early morning call at about 8.30am... Piggy came and fetch me early in the morning.... Went to his house.. and his Daddy cooked Bak Kut Teh for us.. hahaha... Fell asleep while waiting for the food to be ready.. haha! Pig.. but i was really tired...
Went to see bike woth Piggy after lunch... Saw Phantom and Cagiva.. Phantom appeals to me the most.. =P
Went to town.. Bought a white spaghetti top from Zara... been longing to buy that for a very long time... After which went to meet Khairudin and GF and Martin.. Went to Coffee Club.. Ate Muddy Mud pie as usual.. haha... Sinful! As usual, Rich Martin bought a new phone.. Sony Ericson K700i... hahaha.. hey girls! grab this guy man! =P
Went to see bike at Heeren too.. there is a road show... New maxi scooter from Piaggio... Not bad at all.. look fierce and it is robust.. something i consider most - size.. to me, vehicles must look big, dependable.. so that will not lugi on the road... Hate scramblers... they look as if they gonna fall apart anytime, dangerous and it dosen't appeal to me at all..
Went to his house after dinner to watch tv... his favourite kinda show- Tai Ji Zhang San Feng.. haha.. i dunno how many times i have watched this.. and i almost fell asleep..
Piggy Mum bought a durian roll for me.. yeah!! thanks Auntie!! hehehe...
Today shall quote from a site someone recommended on my tag-board... I don't know who exactly is that person... but if you are reading this, thanks alot! If you don't mind can tell me who are you? =P
Anyway, i think its rather true.. i realise sometimes i quarrel with the objective to win... and i always fell put down in the process... I have not been doing the right things at all... There are alot of things i need to learn.. =P
Problem One: Wanting to Be Right and Prove the Other Wrong Before you are able to communicate effectively, you must look carefully at your intention. Are you communicating in order to be understood, to get what you want, or do you have another intention behind the words you are saying? Many couples end up just wanting to prove that they are in the right and their partner is wrong (and always has been). This is communication as war. These words are filled with anger and blame. They cause the other person to feel small, bad or inadequate. The words in these communications are never listened to. However what is read loud and clear is the anger and righteousness behind what is being said. To remedy this, decide that you will stop blaming each other, and give each other a chance to truly be heard. Decide you do not have to prove a case, but find a way to establish a bridge of mutual understanding. These intentions are tremendously helpful in allowing a relationship to succeed.
Problem Two: Not Being Able to Hear the Other Person Remember, communication consists not only of talking, but also listening and hearing what is being said. We can do a whole workshop on the art of listening, but to start, it is crucial to realize that each person can only truly "hear" what is being said if they are willing to put aside their own point of view and really be available to know the heart and mind of the other. This is not as simple as it sounds. Many of us immediately interpret what we are hearing, and put it into a ready-made slot. Others distort what is being said. Others pretend to listen, but are occupied with their own thoughts. A solution to this is to repeat to the other what you think they have said. Let them know how their communication is filtering through to you. Let them make adjustments to your version of their message. And finally, be willing to really hear what they mean.
Things have settled between me and him for the moment... hope i will not make anymore foolish mistakes again... cos i guess he really loves me... Thanks to laine and mich for their concern.. hehe!
With Love, Jas 11:22 PM
Jasmin Kee
CHIJ-OLGC, Cedar Girls' Sec Sch, CJC, SIM
jas2104@hotmail.com
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