Welcome To My Secret Garden
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Read his blog in school... I am utterly convinced.. maybe he is just too eloquent.. Maybe i am not mature enough to have thought of certain things.. Just one reason from him can actually make all my disadvantages of biking seem obsolete... what else can i say?? i shan't make a fool of myself again...
Maybe i shall just give in.. Its afterall his life... i can't lead his life... sometimes i really admire his decisiveness although i often sulk at it... he is just one guy who is very sure of himself.. unlike me.. its through him i realised i have to know what i want in life too... maybe his is my guiding star.. maybe he is my teacher.. mabe he is my BF.. maybe he is just who he is...
I have sorted out my thoughts.. maybe its not that bad after all... anyway we don't know when we will die... if you are meant to die no matter how to hide you still will be unable to escape the king of hades! Ya.. Maybe as what he say, 'do want you wanna do when you are young..' if not the next moment you will find yourself too old for anything... Maybe as a GF i should just stand by him, support him, and don't make so much noise.. =P
All the promises and all the assurance.. Maybe that is enough to move an unopinionated girl like me agree.. Yes i do! yes i do support you.. but you can't eliminate my dislike for bike.. Say that you will try to ride alone so that i will not be exposed to any potential danger... That sounds so noble, yet so selfish? You will still hurt me anyway.. If you really leave me, you will bring me eternal pain.. I would rather get hurt with you.. i don't wanna live a day longer than you.. And you may fell the same.. so i rather we part the same time... As mushy as it sounds, but do you think i care? Sometimes i just don't understand why i am so into you? Why am i willing to do anything for you? Maybe this is what love is... Maybe it is something that is too difficault for naive me to understand...
Maybe things are meant to be... Maybe all my worries are redundant.. maybe maybe maybe...
Talked about Ah Boy in class.. i almost teared.. maye i am too emotional.. but i just feel very sad.. He is undergoing chemo-theraphy now.. guessed its a really difficult time for him.. i am not very sure.. but it is definitely not an easy period for him.. hope he'll feel the care, concern and love we have for him.. i just hope that things will turn out fine... i just hope the best for him..
We are planning to hold a fund raising for Ah Boy to lighten the load on his parents... the therapies he is currently going through now ain't cheap at all.. Hope that we can collect as much donations as possible.. i guess this is the best and most practical thing to do for him other than prayers..
No quotes today..something wrong with my computer..
Will you still love me tomorrow..
With Love, Jas 9:25 PM
Jasmin Kee
CHIJ-OLGC, Cedar Girls' Sec Sch, CJC, SIM
jas2104@hotmail.com
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