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Welcome To My Secret Garden
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Call me a cry baby.. call those crocodile tears.. whatever it may seem to you.. But i guess you may not ever understand me.. you may not ever understand why i oppose to certain things.. In your eyes you are the best.. And when you set foot on something, there will be no turning back.. You struggled very long? but you have never thought how i would have felt during your course of thought..
I spoke to him about my dislike for bikes.. i tried to convince him not to take up bike licence.. but i guess i am unsuccessful.. i am not convincing enough? Its not that i don't support you.. but i just can't let you into danger zone and not voicing out anything.. Its just like not stopping you when you are about to commit suicide...
Everything i say, you definitely have a rebuttal you always have a solution to all the problems i post.. but to do have a solution to my worries?
Why do you have to constantly make me worry about your safety? Making me hot with tears with your piercing eyes? Say that i can choose not to worry.. How can i not worry? tell me! You are always making your own decision? Seems like i have no say in anything.. You must have anticipated what will happen.. but i guess your desires are more important than anything else.. Anyway, i have no right to control you.. You have your freedom to take up anything and everything...
Can't you see that i am nothing but full of worries of the future? Don't you know what is 'prevention is better than cure'? Do you have to wait till you land up in the hospital that you regret? Can't you sense the dilenma i am being through too? Ain't i suppose to support you in whatever you do? Should i go against you this time?
I chose to go against you even if it might harm our relationship.. i rather kick up a big fuss than to see what i do not wish to see.. Say that i am not a good GF.. Say that someone else is better cos she will support you in your quest.. Better if you think she will be better for you.. Better if you gonna leave me.. Don't change your decision.. your unhappy face will make me feel guilty.. It just like i am depriving you of something..
Maybe i should not have made any noise in the first place.. i should tolerate everything.. i should not have told you anything... but its a promise we made to eachother that we do not hide anything from each other again... Maybe i never heard enough of your side of view.. Maybe i should not shoot you with all my selfish views.. if i am selfish.. i am sorry, i was just trying to put your best interest at heart... eventhough it may be miscontrued..
With Love, Jas 9:38 PM
Jasmin Kee
CHIJ-OLGC, Cedar Girls' Sec Sch, CJC, SIM
jas2104@hotmail.com
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